Subtle

I was too weak to give in

too strong to lose

my heart is under arrest again

but I break loose

I gotta break loose.

Tragedy's At Hand

 

And thou I'd like to stand by him, it's never to become. 

.....for I am not the one.

Rock the beat.

They said money change a situation. He said it increases the complication. While she said don't stab, I ain't the one. He said that UZI weigh a mother fucking ton. And I'm just a student of the game that they taught me. Rock in every stage in every place that they brought me. I'm awfully underrated. But came here to correct it. And so it ain't mistakin' imma state it for the record.

I am the opposite of wack
Opposite of weak
Opposite of slack
Synonym of heat
Synonym of crack
Closest to a peak
Far from a punk

Now, I'll just let what will all the people say.

some.better.

some things are better left unsaid.
some strings are better left undone.
some hearts are better left unbroken.
some lives are better left untouched.
some lies are better off believed.
some words are better left unspoken.
and
some Levi's are way better live unbuttoned.
*bhaha*

merepek

you see the title above. yeah. in Bahasa. so am gonna mumble in Bahasa for this post okay.

baiklah. mase tu awak tengah keje. awak nampak saya, awak senyum. saya senyum la sebab saya memang suke senyum. saya tak leh tido. saya ingat nak baca Nightworld kat tepi pintu masuk tu. pastu saya nampak awak. awak tegur saya dan awak ajak saya lepak ngan awak. awak cakap, "kat dalam tu sejuk. jom la duduk kat luar ni". saya segan. tapi memandangkan kat dalam tu sejuk macam peti ais dan mengalahkan sejuk dalam kapal terbang, saya lepak kat luar ngan awak. ni kali kedua kita jumpa dan awak pun tau yang awak pernah jumpa saya. kita sembang punya sembang, tiba tiba awak ade kerja nak buat. saya suruh awak pegi buat kerja awak dulu. sebab saya pun nak habiskan baca Nightworld. erm sebab badan lenguh, saya pergi baring. setiap kali awak lalu dekat katil saya awak jenguk, tanya saya okay atau tak. dan masih lagi saya tak boleh tido. ade la dalam 5-6 kali awak jenguk saya masa tu. pastu ade skali awak tengok saya tak tido lagi, awak ajak saya ikut awak. mulenye saya cam malas nak berjalan. tapi saya ikut je awak. awak bawak saya sembang kat tempat lagi satu. dekat control unit. macam macam awak tanya pasal saya. tapi satu pun saya tak sempat nak tanya awak. sampai satu masa, awak dah kena pergi. saya punya jauh lagi. awak dah pergi, saya pun blah sebab nak berusaha untuk tido sambil dengar Linkin Park - Waiting For The End. awak lari masuk balik, awak mintak nombor telefon saya pastu nama saya. tak sangka sepanjang kita bersembang, tade sape pun antara kita yang terfikir nak tanya nama masing  masing. sebelum awak pergi, awak cakap, "hehe terima kasih. takpe. kita kawan dulu. kalau awak rasa awak tak sependapat dengan saya, awak tak payah reply okay. assalamualaikum". saya sangatlah tak sangka akan jumpa awak lagi skali. tu la. insyaAllah, mungkin kita akan bertemu lagi. tapi kelaka rasanya.

p/s: yes, i know. i know. since its entitled 'merepek' so pls dont mind of all the sentences,words and also the arrangements. all i know, they suck.thats it. i know the storyline is ridiculous but, whatevv. okay.

and more

since i tweet most of my stuffs, so...

http://www.twitter.com/beckpanda

TTYL

*hwugs and kishes*

the call

i just hung up a call from my beloved Mom
Ohh gawsh I missed her so much.
when i miss Mom, tears falling over my cheeks
and i feel good about that
i dont know why.
still, i dont know whether am heading back this end of Oct or not
for my cousin's engagement.
if i cant get my day-off, i supposed i wont be in kelantan for that.
tapi nanti tak best la.
hurm...
speaking of missing Mom.
when i miss my mom, i tend to do few things
things that mom love to do
though those arent my fav's but for mom, i buat
like, erm....
whenever i miss mom, i eat.
i eat her favourite food or snacks tha she loved.
they are apam balik, fresh timun betik in coconut milk with sugar,
kaya waffle.
i also drink.
i had her favourite drinks.
like winter melon tea which is the best.
mom loves winter melon tea so bad that am willing to have it just because i missed her and it reminds me so much of her.
i also gonna crave for len chee kang.
mom suke sangat len chee kang, sampai there's this one time mom buat homemade len chee kang so that all of us boleh enjoy the len chee kang as musch as we could.
im so not a big fan of sweet desserts and kaya, but when it comes to Mom...
i jadi macam crazy about it.
and as today i missed Mom, kat kiosk Halimah tadi I grabbed a winter melon tea and i told salsya that i miss Mom so bad tonight.
And as Mom called, I rase huge relief to hear her voice and i told her about me missing her and my habits when am having those phase and she had this tiny laugh and whispered, "it's okay kakak.u mmg like this.dulu klau everytime u rindu i je u called and weep like a baby sambil cakap ngan i."
gawsh Mom, i mmg rindu u sgt2.
May Allah always filled your day with happiness, joy and His blessed on you Mom.
I love you,Mom.

TTYL
*hwugs and kishes*

hey you!

Sometimes I'm lazy, I get bored

I get scared, I feel ignored, I feel happy

I get silly, I choke on my own words... I make wishes, I have dreams.

And I still want to believe, anything can happen in this world.

Am just an ordinary girl like you.

x x x x

.beck.

no title.

hurm. so many things to do. so little timma.

late night snacks, lovers, bestfriends and friends, chanel paradoxal, the little black book, ramadhan, raya festivities, kota bharu, flight, packing, keys to my heart.

x x x x

.beck.

i miss us

do you still remember.
the day that u whining and pushing me to get u a getaway to PD.
then kakak get to book Corus,our favourite hotel.
it's Corus Paradise
we stayed there.
we bought Bohemian dresses.
we bought tights.
it was and impromptu trip.
but we nailed it.
we had so much fun.
u know kakak love u infinitely.
and kakak still have faith that u love me.
and misses our family so bad.
pls come home soon dear baby sister. 

it's your song

Dear Syakirah,


last night,kakak started watching The Vampire Diaries series.
as kakak watched the 1st episode,Pilot
...i heard  the sound of your song
the song that Ilah asked kakak to hear last month
it was The Management MGMT's Control Yourself
it reminds me of you
how Ilah love the song so much
owh Allah,kakak miss u so much..please protect my baby sister
Pls be home soon.
we can watch this series together.
kakak will be waiting for you