as i try to get to know myself

u guys can click HERE to experience it.
it surprisingly shocking ya know
try yours now :)

well,i was blog-hopping just know and
did found this one blog which was very interesting to me
credit to Faiz,a training pilot
and here's what i got after i took the personality test


Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.



The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

here in Cheras

so,we moved out from Ampang to this Taman Cheras Jaya
so,am no longer living in Ampang nor Gombak or whatsoever
currently am living in Cheras jaya
Jusco Aeon Selatan is nearby
The Mines also not that far
hurm..what else
my best friend also can drop by here often
a very nice house
am loving it so far
Philly's got lotsa running space
she could play with her favorite ball like Lampard now
she seems happy too
am so glad and blessed

so,i did composed you a song

it's been like almost 2months
i composed this song
but still,it's incomplete
u always whining about me composing songs to my friend
but a actually did composed some of u and us
it's just
i don't have the guts to tell u about it
i hope that u understand
so,about the song
i meant,this song i wrote
it's nothing
i know it might sounds a bit silly
but,it's my deeper conversation that i had deep down in my heart
i hope that you'll love it as much as i do
it means a lot to me if i like it
until today,i'm still thinking about the perfect title for the song
got couples of title that i got here,but
can't decide it yet
gonna let you hear it soon
i can't guarantee u that i'll bring along my guitar
but,you'll see.
and i hope that u like it
mmmuachs!

20pcs #13

as soon as u move
they gonna talk about it
cause you are in the A-list
you better believe it

20pcs #12

i feel like i'm million miles away from myself

more and more these days

bent down so many open roads

20pcs #11

snap my fingers just like that
dont get what i want and that is a fact
cause i want it

20pcs #10

it's something about the sunshine
i'm seeing you in a whole new life
out of this world for the first time

20pcs #9

i wanna be
a rockstar,a superhero
living the dream,doing things that i always wanted
different side of me

such a weird dream

twas last night
i dreamt about me and a friend of mine, having my frapp at Starbucks
i ordered a grande frapp which turned into a venti frapp
and i dnt have enough money to pay it
and,i asked the barista that in-charged to pay me the insufficient balance
bhaahaha.
silly dream.

20pcs #8

fruit salad
yummy yummy
yummy yummy yummy fruit salad
varieties of fruits
very fruity
taste good
good for our health

20pcs #7

you love me for who i am
like the stars hold the moon
right there where they belong
love you!

20pcs #6

you
appear,just like a dream to me
just like
kaleidoscope colors
that cover me
every breath that i breathe

20pcs #5

am moving out to cheras soon.
soon = this saturday.
no more ampang.
gonna start packing now.
but i am tired.

Caf�World on Facebook-ku yang bersepai

Caf�World on Facebook

20pcs #4

it's alright,okay.
i am so much better without you.
i wont be sorry.
don't you bother what i do.

20pcs #3

plus minus 6days i stayed at IIUM
had my rehab session
important for me to regain back my self-esteem

20pcs #2

so glad to be home
missing salsya,ikeen and ain already
they are friends of mine at IIUM
miss yah!

20pcs #1

it is raining outside
and I am super boring
just arrived home from IIUM
and i missed Philly very much

my 20 pieces word blogging project

this is so simple.
am going to start posting entries that consist maximum 20 words long only.
going to start posting beginning with the next entry.
..not including this one.
so,i know that it is so going to be very boring.
but,
lately...
i kinda lack of ideas to post long entries.
do not even know why.

This is who I really am

"I try to be someone else,but nothing seems to change I know now. This is who I really am inside."


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I'll be true to you

So pretty. So smart. Such a waste to burn your heart. What a pity. What a sham. What's the matter with you man. Don't you see its wrong,can't u get it right out of mind and out of sight. Calling all the girls don't forget the boys. Put a lid on all that noise. I hear you're living out of state,running in a whole new scene. You know I haven't slept in weeks. You're the only thing I see. I'm a satellite heart,lost in the dark. I'm spun out so far. You stop I start. But I'll be true to you. No matter what you do. Yea,I'll be true to you.

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Notes from salsya <3

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Here we go and go again

I throw out all your stuff away. Then I cleared u out of my head. I teraed u out of my heart. And u know all your messages. I told everyone we had thru,coz I'm so much better without u. But it just another pretty lie coz I breakdown. Everytime u come around. How did u get here under my skin. Swore that I never let u back in. We're falling together,to think it by now I know coz here we go,go,go again. The harder I try, I know I can't quit. There's something about u is so addicted. We're falling together to think it by now I know coz here we go again.
U never know what u want. And u never said what u need. But I start to go and said everytime that u look at me. U only hear half of what I said,and u always showing up too late. But I guess that I should say goodbye but it's no used. Can't be with or without u.

P/s:u know how deep my love to you,love.forgive me for what I've done wrong.my wrongdoings.I know u still love me and do realise that.please gimme a chance.I gave u so many chances,can't u grant as this one of mine?we've been thru almost everything.thru thick and thin.why can't this one.
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kibbles kibbles kibbles

today.March 16,2010.

Philly is going to start experiencing a brand new diet.

gedik isnt?

hihi.

well,she's plusminus 8months old now.

i think this is the right time for her to start having adults cat food.

so here,i present u guys with ROYAL CANIN Fit 32

so,no more kitten food

gedik isnt?

i told u so

and belows are extra pictures that i caught when i was at the pet house

these two were so adorable

they're siblings if im not mistaken

especially the black one.

it got kind of like moustache "misai" thingy.

cute isnt? HA-HA

missing love
missing syakirah
pls be home soon

Royal Canin Pet Food

A friend thought you would like to learn about Royal Canin nutrition for your pet.

Take a few minutes to visit our Web site, read about the diet below and discover how your pet can benefit from nutrition with innovation inside.

http://www.royalcanin.us

Message From: beck

philly's starting to eat this one now :)
yeehaw!

Royal Canin Pet Food

A friend thought you would like to learn about Royal Canin nutrition for your pet.

Take a few minutes to visit our Web site, read about the diet below and discover how your pet can benefit from nutrition with innovation inside.

http://www.royalcanin.us

Message From: beck

philly's gonna stop having this one and changing into adults cat food :)

Discreet

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What we used to do

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can i quote this??

i was going to say

"beaches and bitches are resemblance"

Voice over

I'm my field of paper flower
And candy cloud of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch that purple sky fly over me

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I'll try to drive away

Won't pretend
It's too soon to tell
Anything not to have to change
You down again

Ya know
Nothing hurts like losing
When ya know that it's really gone

I try to drive away
But I got nothing to show
Ya know
It's been the same
And the story's getting ol'
So I guess to drive away
Will be the end of the road

A lot to say
But not today
Let the radio break the silence
As we drive

I watch your tale life's fading
But I'll be thanking you someday
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Wonderland

On underground
Spinning around
I fell down
So where am I now

I found myself in wonderland
Get back on my feet again
Is this real
Is this pretend
I'll take a stand until the end

Don't u try to stop me

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i miss us

do you still remember.
the day that u whining and pushing me to get u a getaway to PD.
then kakak get to book Corus,our favourite hotel.
it's Corus Paradise
we stayed there.
we bought Bohemian dresses.
we bought tights.
it was and impromptu trip.
but we nailed it.
we had so much fun.
u know kakak love u infinitely.
and kakak still have faith that u love me.
and misses our family so bad.
pls come home soon dear baby sister. 

almost 2weeks

uve been gone baby sister
i dnt know how are you doing
u ddnt reply any of kakak's messages
each and every second i wonder, what are you doing?
hv u had your daily meals?
what are you wearing?
have u had your coffee today?
are u sick?
are u okay?
it's been almost two weeks
and...
kakak still be waiting for u to be home
...we all waited for u
and we'll look out for you
we need you to be back home with us.
miss u,baby sister

it's your song

Dear Syakirah,


last night,kakak started watching The Vampire Diaries series.
as kakak watched the 1st episode,Pilot
...i heard  the sound of your song
the song that Ilah asked kakak to hear last month
it was The Management MGMT's Control Yourself
it reminds me of you
how Ilah love the song so much
owh Allah,kakak miss u so much..please protect my baby sister
Pls be home soon.
we can watch this series together.
kakak will be waiting for you

everyday everynight

it's all you im thinking about baby sister
i cant do this alone
i lost you
you,my baby sister.
when there's time i needed u the most
pls come back soon.
please,im begging you

my baby sister's missing

this is my beloved baby sister

the one whom i love dearly,the one that always hang out with me

the one that i gave my everything,whenever or whatever she asked me to

she ran away from our home here in Taman Tasik Tambahan,Ampang at about 8.30pm

for those who's been reading my blog please contact above numbers

to help us looking for her if u do have any informations related.

we are all worried to death here,ever since she had gone

or u guys can also contact me, AISYAH or BECK

twitter

myspace 

facebook - u can click on my badge

 gmail : beckpanda@gmail.com

blackberry PIN (bbm) : 25626DCF

ym - u can ping me on my PINGbox

msn : beckpanda@hotmail.com

SKYPE : beckpanda

my handphone : 012 - 9499213,014 - 8157728

if ure reading this Syakirah;

kakak want to tell you that u know kakak love you loverly.so,please come back home soon.

mom can never sit still,can never stop thinking about you.kakak even had my worst gastric ever

cause i cant eat,nor sleep.i always think about you.i know u have problems and stuff.

but please do think about mom.we can solve everything just like we've done before.

i can never imagine of how are you doing now,what are u up to now.

wether ure doing okay,or maybe ure sick.i dnt know.i will never stop looking for you and so

do the rest.we'll be waiting for you and not just wait.we'll continue searching for

you till we find you.kakak wont stop trying and texting and calling you.

please.i miss everything about you and everything that we shared,

our laugh..our joy..our vacation..our favourite movies..

we all love u very much.

and this one adapted from ONICHI's:

my lil sis, lost from our home, at Taman Tasek Tambahan, Ampang near 8.30pmon Sunday, 28 February 2010. if u saw this girl anywhere , please contact us immediately.. our mom, cried almost every day since she left us.. humm.. sedeh sangat.. Kami sentiasa berdoa agar dia sentiasa selamat dan terpelihara dari sebarang perkara-perkara yan tidak diingini.. Di dunia yang hampir Qiamat ni, macam2 boleh berlaku tambahan lagi Syakirah ni perempuan yang masih muda dan tidak dapat berfikiran matang. Kami amat bimbang akan keselamatan beliau.. Sekiranya beliau bersama seseorang, dapatkah orang itu menjaga adik kami dengan baik? Adakah dia tidak mengapa-apakan adik kami?
 Sekiranya syakirah terbaca blog ini, "Syakirah, kembalilah kepada kami.. yang penting, call Ummy.. beritahu keadaan awak sekarang.. jangan biarkan Ummy sentiasa menitiskan airmata kerana kehilangan awak.. Sekiranya, awak ingin kembali bersama k.ct, it's okey.. i'll not harm u.. this time will b different than b4..i PROMISE you by the name of ALLAH..just tell me what u want, we'll always support u n giv u d best! We love u.."

x x x x

.beck.

formspring.me

How big is your world?

borderless

cmon,ask me. XD

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/beckpanda

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/beckpanda

formspring.me

Who's the most overrated actor?

helena bonham carter :)

Ask me anything

unbelieveable!

how could this ever happened

i ddnt expect this to be occured

i tot we are the champion

but why u guys are so lump that night

it's unbelievable

right in front of my eyes

i hope next time this wont happen again

we need to conquer this season

what a loss

dang it!

it's been a while

late night entry posted

it's not this common...for me

posting entries to my blog in the depth of night

this one actually....

--hurm how should i put this into words

oke.this one actually goes to sarah

shes a blogger too,well u can click on her name to reach her blog

and a cute junior of mine

   so,here it goes;

   it's been a while i havent bake

   so,bout 4hrs ago i decided to make my cookies

   i missed baking so much that 

   i almost faint when i took out the butter

   ha-ha

   and this sarah did aske me to post pictures of my cookies batch

   here they are

   only two shots alright

                                  

   the BEFORE

                             and---

   the AFTER

   and now im friggin tired

   oven,cookies and tuning in to RADIO DISNEY 

   for the whole   night while 

   baking these guys ya know

   the heat is on

   hah

   gonna clean up myself and rush to my comfy bed

   hardly need my nap now

   nighty night u guys!

x x x x

.beck.

anything but ordinary

it's Friday.i woke up at 1130am.so bored.
lately im a pretty boring person.but,i wont mind.
cause i can mind my very own business hehe.
so,a few secs back
a song popped into my head
it's avril's anything but ordinary
dnt tell me u guys dnt know about this song
at least uve heard of it right



Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby

Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive


Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please


To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I
Have been to the extreme

So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive


Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
that this world is a beautiful
accident turbulent suculent
opulent permanent, no way
I wanna taste it
Don't wanna waste it away


Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh my self to sleep
It's my lullaby
Is it enough?
Is it enough?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
Is it enough?
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.





reminds me of iena,salsya
we used to sing this song and all of Avril's song 
during our lower forms
plus,stalking office's staffs
slept at 3am and woke up at 12noon
illegally watching tv during lights off
stalking over "abg cafe'' that looked like he's taking drugs or crystal meth etc.
abg cafe reminds me of tina,Rosatina hehe


i wish i could turn back time
so that my school memories wont disappear
my english debate teams' glorious moment
having tonnes of fun during language week
get to travel other MJSCs with our team
sipping chicken essence before PMR exam
--chic essence courtesy of Razan and her mama
achieving straight As for PMR


uhh ohh.
missed my school so much

urghhh...

bitch,u're getting on my nerves
why do u hv to be like that?
it's so annoying okai!
puuuuhliz.

He loves u more,man

as i signing in my Facebook

i saw so many status posted by my Serting fellas

" baru je chat ngn die 2mggu lepas.innalillah.takziah kepada keluarga Azri Hazim.al fatihah.."

"takziah kepada keluarga Azri Hazim ..moga roh arwah tenang di sana :'( http://www.mmail.com.my/content/28565-trainee-pilot-grandma-die-car-crash"

" ya Allah.sedihnye.smoge arwah Azri Hazim ditempatkan di kalangan org beriman. ajal maut di tangan Tuhan. akan dtg even kte ready atau tak. sometimes, aku leka pasal nie. =( "

"Dear Azri Hazim, semoga roh arwah dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkn dengan orang2 yg beriman...AMIN Salam takziah kepada keluarga & kwn2 arwah. Al-Fatihah The memories being a friend to you will always be remembered."


--- and more and more are keep coming

a friend of mine at MJSC Serting had just passed away in  a car crash last night

innalillahi wa inna ilahi raji'un

a student of class An-Nubala

im so shocked to hear about what happened

a friend of mine,anip did ym me the link to Malay Mail webpage

reporting about the accident which occured near Taman melati
u guys can click on below's links to view

 Malay Mail 

ondscene


and condolences to late Azri's familymay Allah bless u dear friend

One after another left us.Appreciate every day, every moment, every smile, and every tears because life, indeed, is very short. Al-Fatihah buat Azri Hazim @ Chula.

x x x x
.beck.

the many faces of us

belows are some snapsnap we've made where "suapsuap" activity been held during the hangout

ros --to-- aca

ros --to-- beck

aca --to-ros

this is ros

u guys can click on her name,shes a blogger too

this is aca

currently doing her first degree on TESL

it's been quite some time we havent had such mini gathering like this

but we're so happy to get to meet each other that feb20th

aca had done smth crazy at the same day right before we met

we bumped into tirah and zola

we talked about almost everything

catching up on each other is so much fun

especially when u were like havent see each other for like

----- 5years!!

muuuachs to u girls!

yes,we---GIRLS...just wanna have fun

x x x x

.beck.

EYA!

this is EYA

the girl that i blogged about on previous four entries ago

missed her like hell

two years we've been separated

---well,almost

as i have some errands to do in Malacca

so,i went there

as soon as i finished my tasks

i rumbled to Lendu

EYAs' there,at UiTM located at Lendu

i owed her a big kiss,and as promised..

--GRANTED

and also,she promised to gave me a HUGE hug

i got mine.

so glad and happy to see EYA

looking forward to go to Malacca again

so that i can see EYA

so,next time...i got a pretty great reason to come to Malacca

love u EYA for eternity.

mmmmuachs!

x x x x

.beck.

Yeah,we did baby haha

We did had our Scrabble day back then.it was fun and since its been a while we haven't play any board games.and we judt did.what up.hypothetically hi-five!!barney stinson style ha-ha
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that bitch

youre hypocrite,selfish and self centered.u are all about you and yourself...and not to forget youre small lil world and soon youre gonna be miss nobody.please dont tell people what youre doing...well,on the other side youre actually not doing that.you stink.i dont know how am i gonna be friends with you anymore.shame on you.

Reminds me of my freshmen year

during Theatre Club practice for our big show

there's mamay and hassan

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Eya;the good friend of mine

She left me for her own good
Happened on 2007 if I'm not mistaken
A good friend of mine
It's eya
I miss you like hell...we used to go grab lunch together during our freshmen year.play tumblebugs on your lappy...if u can still remember...thou we're not in the same section,but still in the same course right..I miss your Lee jeans and tshirts u usually wear...listening and singing to MCR is what we're best at.so long,it's been a while.a period of time since then....then there's today.I got a short text message from you.hi-ing my just like before...ouh good god,He gave me you.I can never believe it...it's really u.she called me earlier than she told me the time that she'll called....she said that she's going to give a call tonight,but instead of that she called.....like,ya know...30mins ago. Urghh I miss eya so much.we talked for like 20mins and I can never stop asking and smiling and....gawsh.we really need to see each other.she's now in malacca studying.taking a course which way...out of our league,which here is a course about management etc. Ouh eya,I wonder do u hv any idea how much I missed u and how eager and ecstatic am I to hear your voice again.I'm so delighted that u still remember me and still....u're such a wonderful and delightful person I used to know before.mmmuachs!!

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Ou cmon,gimme a big break

Dude
What is up with all of these fireworks banging here and there,not just in ampang.but there's subang,shah alam,cheras.it's sunday and already monday.we gotta sleep.but how are we gonna sleep with all these craps 'dummdumm' here and there.good god.is chap goh mei's coming or is there any special celebrations' going on.urghhh.


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You

everybody needs inspiration
everybody needs a song
beautiful melody
When the night so long
cause there is no guarantee
that this life is easy
when the world is falling apart
when there's no light to break up the dark
when the waves are flooding the shore
and I can't
find my way home anymore
that's when I look at You
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Speaking of 'yourself'

Huh
U thought that you're good
--really that good huh
Well I'll say, "eyh.I dnt think so"
Saying that you know almost everything
Love to do everything
Love yourself
..And stuff stuff stuff
Hey
Cmon
You are so beyond the boundaries
As if I don't know that what medium are you using
What material are you dealing with
Where,when.
Ow cmon
Pathetic you
Yes,you're being you
Such HYPOCRISY of YOURS
Huge applause
Huge applause
From me,I mean it
Sincerely
But,don't put too much proud eyh
Cause I know that you're actually not THAT GOOD at all
--again
Such bitch

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All time sleeper!

This is Lekir.
I'll show u guys more of my cats soon.

FYI,all of cat of the house are male.
... and I love 'em dearly and lovingly.
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Tiberium War is on baby!

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Our breakfast for today by Mom <3

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so homey and comfy

well,hello and assalamualaikum u guys
how's your day.
it's been a while i havent update my blog.
haih *sigh*


now,im home
back in kota bharu
there's no place like home
im so happy to be home
seeing my brothers and baby sister
mom and baba
my cats
such happiness


homey and very comfy
miss home so mush as i havent been home for quite a while


... and i also can online using our PC
it's been a while also *haih*  =.=
my BearyBeck been driving me crazy lately
updating can be so much easier wt it
so,i was like...using lappy or PC...?
--naaaah.no time
so many to do,so lil timma
with the new version of UberTwitter,UberTwitter 7
arghhh,so convenient.


back at home,mom bought a brand new PC
im so turned-on by the new PC
20-inch LG wide LCD monitor


but,im going back tomorrow
----already.
boring.
but that's it.
"kerja tak boleh tinggal"

x x x x

.beck.

cheese and fries!

as i said;

“Friday,i’ll be over you”

Monday Tuesday we were cool
Wednesday I found out bout you 
caught my heart by telling lies
you weren’t what you advertised 
but silly me to believe
I was unique 
when I’m there you put on a show
you gotta go
cuz whats true about you?
who are you when I’m gone?
wanting to be with you
don’t know what I was on 
yah you got me to forget me 
so,it’s friday and I’ll be over you

let's see who want u when im gone.

VICTORY,but im gloomy and glum

what a great Monday

for the first time ever,im loving my Monday

Chelsea won over Arsenal 2-0

New Orleans Saints won over Indianapolis Colts

but lately im shaking quite often

[xkan la Parkinsons kot ha-ha]

while im on my scooter or driving

i felt that my body is shaking

not feeling well

and sometimes felt very exhausted

perhaps this is because of the weather

but,i dont know

......

as for zul and i,

lately im not seeing him much

bored of him perhaps

i ask him to not to bother me

...and im also been quite messy lately

feels like i want each and every person in

my life to stay away from me in a moment

x x x x